· Desperately holding on to other people, places or things in an attempt to find meaning and purpose in your life.
· Letting others do so much for you that it prevents you from developing your own sense of personal autonomy, independence, responsibility and accountability.
· Being unwilling to let go of others so that you can find your own direction in life.
· Refusing to formulate your own goals and dreams in case they don’t match those of the people you are dependent on.
· Having a feeling of emptiness and worthlessness; feeling you “need to be needed” in order to be loved; or having your whole identity wrapped up in someone else.
· Thinking sympathy and pity are the same thing as love.
· Having a desperate need for approval; desperately fearing rejection and abandonment by the person you are dependent on; being clingy, possessive and jealous.
· Lacking a belief in your own competency and ability to cope on your own.
· Feeling stuck and immobilised because of a fear of failure, or the fear of making the wrong decision.
· Having a fear of loneliness – which causes you to cling desperately to someone – even when you should let them go.
Overdependency is a control issue because:
· You are handing control of your life and happiness over to someone else.